A nurse came in asking more questions, while I helped Clark undress. She started applying the wires from all the different machines and quickly started an IV, all the while asking more questions. Dr. Eu a neurologist came in and he to started asking me endless questions, but while on the move. They were rushing Clark for a catscan.
While Clark was in being scanned, one of the questions Dr. Eu asked was "How long ago did the symptoms start?" Well, it was 3:00 now...so "four hours ago". He told me it was too late then for the clot busting drug, it has to be administered with 3 hours.
An overwhelming guilt rushed over me, while I held back the tears. The doctor then went in to view the catscan results while I waited in a chair. As I sat there, I was saying in my mind over and over...Please God, Please God.
Dr. Eu rushed out of the room, motioning to me to fall in beside him. He was walking and talking very fast. "Clark isn't having a stroke from a clot, it is from a cerebral hemorrhage, which I can't help him with. He needs a neurosurgeon. The clot buster would not have helped him, it actually would have made it worse. Unfortunately, the survival rate for a cerebral hemorrhage is not as good as a ischemic stroke." He said Clark might need surgery. I think at that point I went kind of numb. I knew I wasn't absorbing everything they were telling me, but right then I also made a clear decision with myself..I had to focus, no more emotions from here on out. I must hear everthing they are telling me, I am the only one for Clark and I can't let him down....
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It pains me when I hear you talk about feeling guilty. I hope you don't still feel guilty. You did an amazing job getting him to the hospital. If someone makes up their mind they're not doing something (ie when Clark refused to go), it is so hard to get them to change their mind. But you did! Clark is so very lucky to have you looking out for him.
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